Safe space

I realize there is one thought that make me so hard to be close with other people. The barrier that I unintentionally build surrounding myself that I don’t simply allow people to get to know me better. Sometimes I just put the barrier so high that people will think I am either too unfriendly, difficult or fierce. When you get to know people, eventually when you get so close, you tend to share more than just a story, maybe it goes beyond your background etc and that what make me feel very uncomfortable when people ask me too much or digging my past story too much that eventually just make myself to end the conversation as soon as possible.

One reason I am doing this because the more I know about the other person who seem having a normal life or mentally stable, the more I feel hurt, knowing that I am having a difficult timeline. They are not wrong for having that. It is how life supposed to be. But exchanging such stories, just make me feel different. I can’t relate with their stories and they may not be able to relate with mine, unless they have some difficult stories that we both can support each other, and that is when the barrier breaks, little by little.

Having the safe space to give and share, knowing that even though you are not in the same cabin, maybe you are in the same boat. Maybe the situation might be different, but the emotion and feeling you are experiencing is the same. And only by that, I am able to relate and to become someone that I am really a human being.

And that exchanging stories can be so engaging and insightful. It is like a recharge and discharge your energy at the same time. The mutual emotional support that both can give because you know how hard it is to not being listened and understood. It is all seemed so soothing and healing at the same time, to finally able to find someone you can share with, without being judgmental.

However, one thing you should know, it may not be permanent. All the safe space you are having may be crushed within a minute when one of the parties already found their happiness somewhere else, while you are still struggling with your emotion. You thought you could go through this phase together, but you might be wrong. You are not expecting to stick together for the rest of the life, but at least you hope that the safe space is not being damaged.