It has been a long time I haven't write anything here. There is so much things happened in my life since the last time I'm blogging. I think previously the reason why I start re-blogging and writing is because I have no one to talk to and it is Covid and it is just so frustrating that I (and most of us) stuck with our life at that time. It is like your life frozen and become stagnant and just until 2 years later, everything will be starting over. So, yes myself, let's do some housekeeping to update on myself what I have been up to.
So, yeah, since November last year, I have fully moved to Seremban to my first workplace after graduation. Surely there is a lot of things have happened and changed but most importantly, I feel more content. Taktahu lah aspek apa yang aku rasa terisi tu, tapi aku rasa majoriti kepada kepuasan kepada kerja yang aku sekarang.
People might not understand which area or sector I would like to be into, because to be honest, I think I am a generalist, I don't have any specific skills or knowledge that I am expert on but I can do anything based on the task given to me. But of course, I still have one career pathway and direction that I would like to be expert on, at least when my age reaching 30. At this age, when most of my friend already find their own things that they can perform well and even become the subject matter expert, for example, I feel like I should have reach to that phase.
Maybe I don't to compare that much with that, for example like through material or monetary aspects, but maybe I should have look at another angle on how my journey would shape what and how I am doing now.
Believe it or not, I am able to reach this far, the journey that I never think about. The journey that I just planned silently in my mind, through my indirect and direct involvement in volunteerism and social development sector. People might not understand how psychology might relate to what I am doing now, but believe me, learning psychology, you can put yourselves almost anywhere you want to go, the key is to find your interest and invest your time in the area you want to focus on once you find your way.
So, here I am. I would say that the journey that I am walking right now is the journey that I look forward since my active involvement in students association or non-profit organisation. The journey is still far. I still have a lot of things to learn but I am glad that along the way, I met and get to know people with the same aspiration and that is what make myself more motivated. Even the previous circle might not know what I am really doing, but that doesn't matter. What's more important is how I'm blessed with this journey.
Of course, along the way, there are hiccups in life, constant fighting with my own thoughts and mind, see people come and go, but there's nothing I could do much because it is how life works. Growing up, I learn to manage my own expectation and put little or no trust to anyone, except for myself. I have been hurt so much with my past and I won't let anyone to destroy again what I was hardly try to heal myself from.
I am still sad, I am still hurt but at least, this is what I can do; to live the moment.
Love, Amal.
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