2022. Hello new chapter.
2021 has been an up-and-down year for me. I started the year with a new chapter, continuing my postgraduate study, in the middle of pandemic. I thought it was a blessed journey for me as I finish my undergraduate year.
It never been in my mind that I would ever continue for postgraduate at that immediate time right after my undergraduate degree but Allah has a better plan for me. I started with becoming a research assistant for my lecturer, then after she offered me to become a graduate research assistant under her grant.
It was a blessed journey for me as during the pandemic, people are losing their job and new job are hardly to find but I am able to secure a job, although for a one year contract, but at least, I am able to be independent. I am able to live another one year with my parents and be with them during the pandemic. Being the youngest among the sibling, I realize that I am the child that live longer with my parents while I am growing up during my adult year. I am able to be with them during the adaptation of the new norm. I am blessed. Alhamdulillah.
In the middle of year 2020, I started to think of my own career path. My research study have been almost completed with data collection and data analysis. I am glad that I had been given a supportive supervisor to ease the postgraduate journey and the research grant. I learnt a lot working with the research teams. At that point, when I am on my way completing my postgraduate study, my friends asked me how do I feel of continuing the study. To be honest, I would say that, this is maybe not my plan in the beginning but I see it as an opportunity. A very good opportunity to start my journey. I am blessed with the choice that I chose.
I would like to explore more of my career path. Previously I thought I would want to become a clinical psychologist or a lecturer, but I thirst for the experience, especially working with people of different background. I would like to have colleagues where I can exchange the knowledge and insights. I want to be in the real world and the real field.
Then, I stumbled upon an opportunity to expand my career journey. At first, I thought I apply the works just for the sake of experience, but little that I know that I have been accepted to join the company. Since the nature of work is still working from home due to covid-19, I am able to balance my work and my study. Luckily my company understands my commitment towards the study and at one point I have to attend discussion with my supervisors.
Fast forward, I manage to adapt with the new working environment, but have some challenging times with my study. It is not that I lose hope but I feel like I like being at work better than having to read, write and publish paper etc. My initial intention to send my final thesis during semester 3 seem not being able to achieve since I did not juggle my work and thesis writing properly. However, I managed to gain a lot of new knowledge in the company.
Apart from that, 2021 is also a heartbreaking year for me. I would say that memory is a good lesson for me. A lesson about understanding myself and other people. It is not an easy journey and I feel blessed that during that time, when I almost lost contact with my friend and feel so suffocated with being alone, I managed to have some insightful conversation to brighten up my day, although it is temporary. It was really temporary and as I snapped out from the reality, I realize, it is just another memories that crafted as a lesson, not a permanent memories that I can cherish on.
I was so heartbroken at that day but quickly stood up from my misery. I have prepared for all this. I have managed my expectation, but what make me surprise is that it happened so sudden that not even a proper closure or good bye was said. It is just like a dream in unreal world. It is just a like a movie that have a sad ending.
However, I am glad that it happens only for a short moments. I do take some time to digest but with my busy life, everything back to normal. People did not realize what I have been facing. I am still the same. I am healing in my own way and for that, I forgive myself.
2022.
I don't have any high expectation for my life, except for some personal achievement. So here is my own resolution
- Having my first car
- Finishing my postgraduate study
- Learn as much as I can in my work
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